No be counted who wins the US presidential election, whether or not Al Gore or George W. Bush, there will be at least one young, single First Daughter compelled to navigate the treacherous waters of the courting world whilst being intently accompanied by means of a merry band of Secret Service retailers – typically male, and not possible to pass when you consider that they have these pesky earpieces dangling from their heads and are usually speaking into their wrists. As if courting wasn’t tough enough.
There are no how-to books on hand about how to deal with this situation, and I suppose even the wisest sage would throw up his (or her) palms and say, “Beats me.” So, I’m providing a few suggestions. As any individual who lived via this ordeal – notice, I did not say survived it – I can at least supply the women some insights and hints that can also assist retain their sanity and forestall them lacking romance altogether.
Secret #1
Don’t let on that you assume any of the Secret Service retailers are attractive. They’ll be taken off your element earlier than the clock strikes midnight. They’re touchy about that kind of thing. Jumpy, in fact.
Secret #2
Re tip No. 1, any man you are courting will in all likelihood be jealous that you are being trailed with the aid of some eye-catching men. There’s surely no way round this, however you would possibly advocate he strike up a dialog with them – ask about their shades or their training. It’s a male-bonding type of thing, and it every so often works.
Secret #3
Don’t inform them the place you are going beforehand. They’ll be surely mad, however here is the reason: if, for example, you say, “I’m going to dinner at this specific restaurant tonight,” they may “advance” it. This means, when you stroll in, everybody will be staring. I imply everyone. The cooks, the waiters, the dishwashers. The kitchen will get backed up, orders will be sluggish and the clients will blame you. Not to point out that your date will hate the scrutiny.
Secret #4
Tip No. three applies even greater to movies. Wait till the closing minute. Be spontaneous. That way the marketers would possibly now not even get a seat; they shall have to stand in the back. There’s nothing extra distracting than guys with weapons sitting proper at the back of you munching popcorn.
Secret #5
There surely are some advantages. You can do unstable matters like go white-water rafting, backpacking at night, skydiving. You know, all these matters you may have been afraid to do before. Hey, they’re there to guard you – why wait for a terrorist kidnap plot? Take benefit of their abilities and commitment. They’ll probable respect the adventure.
Secret #6
You can ask them for a bonafide male opinion on how you appear earlier than you go on that virtually necessary date. Just take note to no longer ask the lovable ones. If the purpose for this is unclear, please refer again to tip No.1.
Secret #7
Don’t assume them to intervene if a disgruntled ex-boyfriend spots you in public and insists on speaking to you. Unless your ex is sporting a mask, brandishing a weapon or performing like a drugged-out lunatic, you are simply going to have to manage the state of affairs yourself. Ex-boyfriends are now not in the Secret Service manual.
Secret #8
Explain to your date he need to obey the velocity limits. Not simply for the apparent security reasons, however additionally due to the fact the marketers have sirens in their cars. It’s embarrassing to be pulled over by using your personal Secret Service agents.
I hope these recommendations are useful to whomever is positioned in the extraordinary scenario of waking up one day as America’s new First Daughter.
I have simply one greater tip. If you stop up getting married whilst your father is in office, get married in the White House. I didn’t, and various of my buddies have in no way forgiven me.
